Just because someone you know is a stay at home or work at home -parent does NOT mean they are:
- Available to meet you some where.
- Available to do lunch.
- Available to pick you up.
- Available to drop you off.
- Available to pick up your kids.
- Available to drop your kids off.
- Available to watch your kids.
- Available to talk on the phone all day.
- Available to run you to the grocery store.
- Available to cook you dinner.
- Available to make that favorite dessert you like.
- Available to go somewhere with you.
- Available to bring you something to eat.
- Available to do some research for you.
- Available to run to the bank for you.
- Available to sew a button on your shirt.
- Available to wash some stuff for you.
- Available to read your long emails.
- Available to make some calls for you.
- Available to walk your dog.
- Available to pick up your medicine from the drug store.
- Available to get your car an oil change and get an inspection done while there.
- Available to make it to an event that you just recently made me aware of.
- Available to take some photos for you.
- Available to list some items on craigslist using the photos I just took for you.
…I could do this all day.
Did you note that all of those phrases started out the same?!? Simply because you are blessed to be at home does NOT mean that you are always available. I won’t even shock you with all of the things I have going on or have to do on a daily basis. But please know my life is full and just like pretty much everyone else there really isn’t enough time in the day for me to complete everything that I need to get done.
This is especially true for those who have children and even more so for those who have children AND work for themselves. Dude mom said it best, “even when I’m ‘only’ watching my kids, I’m still busy”!!!
So yeah…what she said!!!
And before you think I’m oh so selfish, please note that I don’t mind helping others, in fact I love helping people; however, I don’t like the assumptions that may arise simply because I have the privilege to be at home all day. The “work” I do can be hard, demanding and time consuming, and true breaks are few and far between. I simply want people to recognize that what I have going on will usually take precedence (just like any other job does) and most importantly I want people to respect my time.
I don’t think that’s asking a lot, but that’s just my opinion so I guess I’m a little bias.
“I am stumbling through my military life and in the process, discovering my place in the world.”
I love this list and it's so true. I can relate to most of them. I hate when others who work outside the home make assumptions that all I do all day is sit around on the computer, play with my daughter, and have fun. My own husband even does it sometimes!
Exactly, Kera! People just assume I have a lot of free time on my hands which is not the case at all! My husband also forgets at times as well and it drives me crazy!
I love this!!
I'm not married and I don't have children, but I work Full Time. I get put in the same boat because people feel like I have no obligations (like I would with a spouse or kids). People act like you're such a liar when you tell them you don't have time for things. I always get the shock faces or dumb comments like…"All it takes is 5 minutes to do" or "If you would stop doing such and such you would have time". Excuse me!!! I can do whatever I want with MY TIME and if that excludes the things you want me to then so be it!! Stop trying to spend my time for me, I have plenty of things I can fill that time with…THANK YOU!! And if I don't want to do whatever it is you're asking because I want to take some time for myself to do absolutely nothing…I can do that too! 🙂
Ha! I feel you on this, Mionna! I laugh at people when they tell me it'll only take a few minutes because then I'm like "well why can't you do it then!"
I'm learning that you never really know all what someone has going on no matter what their situation is and being respectful of someone's time should be standard regardless.
This is so true!!! As SAHMs we are busy and it's 24/7! Love this post 🙂
Exactly, Kathryn! I even have to explain to my husband some times that for him his job ends once he leaves the site but I'm on call all day every day!
OMG!!!!! I FEEL THIS 100%!!!! I may have to repost this on my blog just so some people get it!!! I get so many crazy request…and like the comment said above sometimes its my own husband!!! But family members ask for crazy stuff too "can you take my daughter to the event with the city so she can get a summer job, just sign my name on the part with the guardian because I can't get off work!!!" Really?????? Can you not get off to handle your childs business or is it that you won't get off????
You should definitely repost, Carissa! We must spread the word, lol! But seriously, some people really don't understand how long and full our days are as stay at home parents. It can be very frustrating, especially when it's from people who you feel should understand (i.e. our mate, lol)! But I'm learning that it's one of those things that you can't fully understand unless you've done it.
I relate to all the above! Because we stay at home {and work at home moms as in my case} have SO much to do!! It's crazy!!
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(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
http://www.raising-reagan.com
It certainly is crazy, Lanaya, and no matter how much we explain it people still have such a hard time understanding.
Sure, same goes for people who have schedules like mine. Work 7 days the off 7 so the world thinks they can dump everything on you…um, NO & I don't owe you an explanation.
Oh my, Joi! I can just imagine what kind of requests you get on your weeks off. As if you don't have things to do and catch up on, including time for yourself and time to rest! And you're so right, explanations are not required!
I can Identify with them all! When I learned to say "no, or later" I got more stuff done for me and mine and well, as it appears, everyone else is doing just fine. People hate when I "prioritize" things, it will only take you a second they say, yeah right! I will help anyone, really, but let's be real, I'm not going to be running around crazy so you can have some free time, that's just cray cray! Love this post!
Yes, Quana! I definitely had to learn to say no and I've even learned to just let me phone go to voicemail during the day the majority of the time. It's not that I don't want to interact with others but if I'm in the middle of doing something with Maddie or cooking, etc. then that phone call can wait until I have time to give that person my attention. I'm given such a hard time about this but it is what it is!
And for those people that say it will only take a second to do something, I usually laugh and think well it should take you the same amount of time to do it too :)!!!
am not a SAHM but the days i do stay home am more tired than when i go to work so i can just imagine doing it 7 days a week!!
Claudia @ http://www.prettylittledahlia.com
Exactly, Claudia! Being a parent is great but it wears you out! Especially when you're a sahm and you're on call practically 24/7.
Well said…I'm not a SAHM and people still treat me like I am 'available' for everything. I think it is the times that we live in! People mainly think of themselves and take for granted the time that is given to them.
-Tasha
Such a good point about people thinking of themselves and taking time for granted! I know that I have been that way in the past but having Madison and being at home has changed my ways and perspective dramatically.
I only came across your post today – And it was exactly what I needed to read today. I've been getting pressured from my work because I "make excuses not to do work". These "excuses" are, no I can not commit to a time to take a phone call, but if you write down what you would like to discuss with me and email it, I will respond when I can. This tends to be after 8pm. And all beacause I'm a SAHM, who does 5 hours a week from home, but it seems I should be able to drop everything to talk to them. My toddler is so demanding, and it is impossible to use a computer or phone while he is awake – and I'm fine with that, I would rather play and learn with him during the day rather than him see me sit on a computer all day or take work calls.
So again, thank you for this article, it was exactly what I needed today.