I must admit, I tend to think I’m always right and that my opinion is one of the best out there. Believe me, it’s not the best trait to have but I do believe that I make pretty good decisions and I usually do my best to set myself up for success when I make a decision. With that said, I have a hard time letting others take the lead.
This is a particularly bad trait, in my opinion, when it comes to marriage. Mainly because I believe that my husband is the head of our family and that he should be the one to lead the family, take on it’s burdens, provide, and the list goes on. That’s not to say that I can’t do some of those things but I believe that my role as a wife is to help him to be successful at doing those things. Again, that’s just how I view our roles as husband and wife.
I haven’t always felt this way but it’s something that I embrace wholeheartedly now that I’m married. Yet, it doesn’t take away some of the struggles that I have in relation to adhering to these beliefs.
Recently, there have been situations (as in the example above) where Mario suggested that I do one thing but ultimately left it up to me to decide what I should do (since he knows I struggle with this). Each time I’ve done things my way just to discover that I should have listened to him. I honestly believe things worked out the way that they did to sort of force me to see that it really is okay to not always be in control and to trust that my husband always has my best interest at heart.
This may sound like it should be so simple..”of course, you should trust your husband and his judgement, etc., etc.”; however, it’s not that easy for someone who has always had an independent, feminist (unbeknownst to me) mindset. But with marriage (and parenting) comes changes in me that I didn’t even expect. I’m definitely not at all who I thought I’d be, but I’m excited and feel very strongly about the views that I’m now forming and the person I’m becoming. I hope to talk to you about some more of these life changes in the near future!
Glad to see that I'm not alone in this struggle 🙂
I pray daily for the strength to be fully obedient to the things that my husband is asking me/telling me/suggesting that I do. And like you, there are many times when I go and do things my way that I come back and find out that I should have just listened to him first!
Being married is such an interesting journey of growth and exploration. You truly learn where you are weird and where you are weak. But it's a nice journey, nonetheless.
Be encouraged!
Even after all these years being married, it's hard for me so I can sympathize with you. We have to keep praying and listening and trying to do the right things in our marriage. Love you guys~~~~
After 10 years of marriage, I have finally gotten to the point where I am living what I believe. Like you, I didn't realize it was such a struggle until entering into a union and starting a family. It is a progress, but recognizing and consciously working on it does make a difference. Be blessed!
I totally agree with you! I too, am a very independent woman and have always had a hard time following my husband as the head of our family. It's something I work on daily! I had to laugh when you said your husband is usually right…because that is typically the case for us, too. 🙂 I also love that your man just crawled under that car and figured it out! Good for him! 🙂 -Andrea
Marriage has taught me to be more generous and giving AND that it's okay to rely on someone for help. I was so used to doing for myself that I felt like a failure if I had to ask for help. I'm glad you are processing and learning more things about yourself that will make you a better partner. We should always be willing to grow and change for the better.
It's hard being an independent woman and married. Your hubby is awesome for doing that for you and saving you that kind of money!
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(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
Raising-Reagan.com
I totally agree with you! I'm so much like that in the sense that I look at our roles similar to how you do but for various reasons I was forced to take the reigns of our family for sometime and now am fighting an uphill battle to be the supporting wife I want to be instead of the leading wife I'm regretting!
It's so great to read that there are still women who value this marriage ideal! I'm glad you're learning though…it gives me hope!