I’ve spent a big part of my life living it according to the standards of others; basically, the way other’s “thought” I should live it.
You know what I’m talking about or maybe you don’t :)!
Your family, friends and society, as a whole, have a way of shaping the way you live your life. You’re encouraged to follow a specific path that is often thought of as the “normal”, “right”, “good” thing to do.
- Go to school,
- Start your career,
- Get married,
- Have kids, etc.
If for some reason you deviate from these “guidelines” people often look at you as if you’re ruining your life, failing at life or feel that you make bad decisions. It’s quite interesting, really!
I know some people whose lives are not at all what they expected and I see others looking down on them for it and even judging them as if they themselves have always followed the imaginary straight and narrow path.
For the past two years I’ve finally learned to let those thoughts about trying to please everyone, by living my life according to their standards, go! I like to remember that no one’s life is perfect no matter how beautiful they might make it seem via social media or in person. Most of the time you only see what people allow you to see. I also try to remember that those “perfect”, judgmental people have had instances where they were one step away from making a “bad” move that could have turned their life upside down but God had a different path and plan for them and the same goes for so many of us. So the path that I have sought truly isn’t my own anyway since it’s directed by God.
Before, when I was a SAHM some people had a hard time understanding why I choose that path. Even in the mist of some of the hardships we faced, I usually let them know that that was God’s plan for me in that season in my life. Usually there is nothing they can say to refute that. The same goes for the life I’m leading now, being a working mom.
This is one of those things that comes with age, I believe. And as I approach my thirties I’m starting to think more and more about life and question, “Is this where I thought I’d be? Is this where I am supposed to be?” I don’t want any regrets because I didn’t have the courage to live for myself. So now, I’m living life for me (and my family unit) based on what I want and need, and I’m finding that I’m much more happy because of it.
Be happy,
Way to go Nicole! I agree that these "guidelines" are out of line. God has a plan for each and every one of us. Maybe we do realize this much more as we get older. We answer to God and our little families and that should be enough =)
Amber
First, the Steve Jobs quote is something I truly needed to read this week. SO good. Second, you are so spot on about "seasons" in life. I always say we live multiple lives within our one life because many before us, and some presently feel once they are on one track, that's it. But, I've realized it's ok to change course.
Loved finding you through the Happy Mama Movement today!
I feel like I am entering a new season in life. I'm struggling so much with all of the changes; I know that's what really inspired me to star the happy mama movement. I need a team to get through this one! Thanks for sharing with us!
This is lovely. I completely agree that we have to live for ourselves…happiness has to come from within. Visiting from the Happy Mama Movement!
Oh I love this post. You wrote it so beautifully. As I'm inching to another year older, I feel so personal growth to be happy to be me in the truest form possible. Thank you for sharing this post. Love the quote too 🙂
I have so much going on, so many changes, and it's hard to focus on me, to remember that I need taking care of and made happy before I can give joy to anyone else. I am proud of you for looking out for you.
I don't know you but I love you already.
YES.
I am a people pleaser and I often let my future be dictated by other people because "That's what you're supposed to do".
We all have the power and the right to live our life in a way that makes us feel fulfilled.
I love this message. Yes, we do it for us and our families…not for anybody else. And the sooner we realize it, the happier we will be.