I have a problem saying no. I’m a “people pleaser”. I’ve always been the type to want to be helpful and make others happy, so when something is asked of me, no matter what it is, when it was asked and how taxing it may be, I’m usually going to say yes without a thought. Anyone else out there have this problem?I think giving back and being of use to others is a marvelous thing and something that we all should do, and sometimes I feel I actually thrive off of being this way. But, sometimes I feel stretched very thin trying to accommodate others in addition to the roles/responsibilities I have to myself, my husband, my child and my career.
One thing I’m hoping to learn this year is how to say no and how to do so without feeling like I have to explain the reasoning behind why every single time. I started doing this just a little towards the end of last year and it made a big difference in regards to my stress level. It doesn’t mean that I’ll just stop being a “people pleaser” altogether because I honestly love helping others. It just means that I’ll have to set boundaries for myself, knowing when I can or cannot take on more! Just another step on my “be happy” journey!
Be Happy,
Im def the same way!! I love being able to help people but I have to learn that I have to take care of my needs as well and sometimes that means having to say "no" and not feel guilty about it.
I learned this lesson a while ago. I love helping others but sometimes you have to put yourself first. Saying 'No' doesn't make you mean or inconsiderate or selfish. It just means that you make yourself a priority.
OMG. funny how we were discussing that very thing over the holidays!!! You are giving me hope my dear!! Love u guys~~~~~~
Hmm…I don't know if I would call myself a people pleaser, per se, but you raise great points. I've realized I feel especially useful when doing things for my loved ones…even more when they show appreciation. When I do for other people it's usually because I asked. I do for others to get that same feeling of being useful, but I could care less if they appreciate it or not. I don't like to be idle so having something "to do" some times keeps me busy. I hate having my schedule interrupted by others, so I try my best to make myself slightly unavailable so people won't feel like they can ask…lol. BUT, there are those close to me that could ask me anything…and I probably would have issues saying no.
This is a lesson I am gradually learning too! It's sometimes so wonderful to say "no" even if it makes us feel a little yucky at first!
I'm a living witness that it comes with age and maturity…being confident in one's decision to say no when you know it fits the current situation.
While I have gotten better over the years, I definitely have this problem too.
I use to be a people pleaser until I noticed how much some people take advantage so I started saying no a lot more. It's definitely lowered my stress levels. Sometimes you can't worry yourself.